Grocery Shopping--to the Extreme

Extreme grocery shopping takes some serious skill—more skill than one would think. First you have to mentally prepare. Before entering the market you must: sit in your car; breathe deep, and envision yourself dipping through the aisles, dodging other motorists and diving for the best sales. Gather every last one of your coupons and slowly begin to approach your destination.  Once inside the building, remember to show complete disregard for everyone within eye sight—especially when entering a checkout line. If, while swerving in and out of aisles, you happen to spot a limited time only sale item, do not pass it up. Quickly walk over to it and make sure you snatch one up; no matter what. Stay focused and remember to crush any obstacle in your way—any obstacles. Have no mind for those around you, as they are only there for themselves too.  Show no fear.

A Royal Farce

The weeks leading up to this event made it  seem as though this event was going to be life changing. Documentaries and movies were made in their honour displaying their true love for eachother. This event was going to ground-breaking, so much so that it replaced the morning news on my favourite news station. Raging wars, deadly protests and local monstrosities were not nearly as important as two complete strangers getting married. Millions of people across the world stopped their lives just to watch the royal wedding—the wedding of the century. Thousands upon thousands of people filled the streets to catch a mere glimpse of Will or Kate as they entered the church. Children thrown up on their parents shoulders—as if they'll ever remember. It all seems so uncalled for. Millions of dollars spent on one day is simply beyond ridiculous. There are people starving; people without homes, but they feel it is necessary to spend such an outrageous amount of money on their "special day". I'm sorry but I think that is completely disgusting. Some have argued that it allows people to get away from all the bad that's going on around us, that we need some good news for once; I'm sorry, but a wedding doesn't make it all go away.